Nobody likes to fail. Not really. But sometimes we need to.
I cracked my phone screen recently. A month old. First time ever. I'd always relied on a particular case. But with a change in design, I didn't spend any real time looking for something on par. "It'll be fine" I thought. And it wasn't.
But would my complacency have been shattered without such a blunder?
That crack learnt me a lesson: I'm not someone who can afford to skimp on a case. And luckily, I can get it fixed. Sure, it'll cost. (Jeez, does it cost). But that's the price of the lesson.
And the best bit?
After my investment things can go back to how they were. And be stronger as a result. Like upgrading a bike lock when the last was stolen. Or digging fence posts deeper following the wrath of gale force winds. Failure invokes learning. And I needed to fail to learn.
But sometimes we can't repair what we broke.
I used to think so little of myself I couldn't comprehend how some of my actions could hurt others the way they did. And I learnt hard lessons the hard way.
In some cases those I hurt forgave me. And our connection grew stronger. And some never did. Maybe never will. And while part of me still yearns to turn the clock back on the latter, another part knows I might be worse off if I could.
Because what would I learn?
To loosely paraphrase the late Frank Farrelly, a series of stern looks won't always be enough to prevent the dog soiling the carpet. But rub its nose in the mess shortly after and you'll be amazed how motivated it is to find somewhere new to relieve itself.
Hard lessons are often learned the hard way.
I'm not excusing those decisions. Or the hurt I caused. But it does help me accept. Life is a process of learning. And to learn, we have to fail. Sometimes painstakingly hard. And if we'd truly have known better - been better - before our mistakes, there's no way we'd have made them.
We can't always go back. And that's the price of the lesson we needed to learn. And to truly know how important it is that we learn it.
(Struggling with fear of failure, or accepting your past mistakes? Cognitive Hypnotherapy in Leighton Buzzard can help you. Get in touch to learn how).