I spoke with a prospective client recently. Our second chat. It didn't last long though. And for probably my favourite reason.
She'd been doing really well.
Now, I'd love to take full credit for a miraculous turnaround. Attributing it to some wise words of wisdom or cleverly-covert conversational technique. I would. But I'd be more than a little short-sighted if I did. (Not to mention delusional).
I believe it was something far simpler.
We tell ourselves at times we don't need to talk about things. We just try and get on. Make things work. Manage. And sometimes we can. But other times there's much truth in the saying 'a problem shared'. And maybe not for the obvious.
When we share our difficulties, we have to lay things out so another can follow. Paint a verbal picture we can both review. And in doing so, we see where things don't quite match. Where bits are missing. Or where perspective just doesn't align.
And yet, it's more than that.
Because by sharing our difficulties, we take the mask off. Let go of the well-practised 'I'm fine' façade we're so used to retorting. And it's that de-masking that makes way for the real difference that makes the difference:
When we share our difficulties, we act with courage. Because we make ourselves vulnerable. It's why we say 'opening up'. We shed the armour. Bear our weakness. And scary though it may be, that's when we're most likely to feel understood and accepted.
Because it's our true self we allow to be seen and connected with.
My prospective client hadn't spoken to anyone else about her difficulties. But once we connected, she no longer felt alone with the pain. And just that connection - that understanding - was enough. To gain some relief. Some perspective. And see the action she had to take.
And then she took it.
So I didn't gain a new client. But I was reminded, again, of just how powerful the act of connecting can really be. And in this case, that was more than enough for me.
(Struggling with opening up, speaking your mind, or just trying to make sense of what’s in your own head? Cognitive Hypnotherapy in Leighton Buzzard can help you. Get in touch to learn how)